A reporter is going to do an article about Sue and she wants all her Cheerios to fit into their “gender-appropriate” (and no, I cannot believe she actually said that considering what she is always wearing) cheerleading uniform. This means for Mercedes to lose 10 pounds or be out of the Cheerios. Kurt encourages her, he is happy with being part of the inn-crowd.

Meanwhile, Finn is not so happy with the crush Kurt has on him, nor with his mother’s behaviour lately – she seems happy and is getting rid of furniture. This is unusual and thus highly suspicious to Finn, at least after he realizes that something is off. This something is Carol Hudson dating Burt Hummel, yes, Kurt’s dad. Kurt was responsible for them meeting, hoping to get closer to his crush. But Finn doesn’t want to move in with the Hummel’s and be Kurt’s new roomie, he wants to hold onto his dad’s memory – forever.

As another way to annoy Will, Sue has padlocked the auditorium. Will is looking for another place for the gleeks to practice and finds – a roller rink and April Rhodes whose boyfriend (if you can call 75-year-old sugar daddys boyfriends) has rented the place for her amusement. Speaking of rent, Will wants to sublet his apartment and look for a smaller place because of his divorce. April wants to check his place out (or maybe she just wants to have sex with him, I’m not sure) and soon settles on his couch and then in his bed – okay, they don’t do the dirty, mainly they are both just lonely but still… wait, till Emma hears of it…

If Kurt had hoped he and Finn could bond over their parents’ relationship he is in for a surprise because Finn bonds with his dad over football talk. And he is not happy with it. His dad seems finally to have found the son he always wanted, a jock with whom he could talk sports and cars and other stupid stuff.

Mercedes’ diet is not going too well. She pretty much stops eating in order to lose weight but then her friends start to look like food and she faints because of low blood pressure. Quinn unexpectedly shows up at the school nurse’s to talk to ‘Cedes. She tells her that she shouldn’t let Sue talk her into losing weight when she is at home in her body. Nobody should have that kind of power. There was some other stuff, too, mainly stuff that make Quinn the cleverest girl at McKinley and make us really like her. With all the faults she has, she is also awesome and can be a really good friend.

 ‘Cause Will wants to be as awesome as Quinn and give really good advice to someone, he starts once again by bettering April and tell her to sober up her act and get rid of her sugar daddy and look for a home. I don’t know but when Will does it it always sounds condescending, could be me, of course. Well, the roller rink does not really work out for performance space, anyway, though the kids have some fun for one night.

Kurt wants to break up his dad and Carol now and Finn is in because he obviously cannot stand his mom being happy. And she calls him out on it. After a good talk with Burt – and we know how he can be – Finn finally comes around. Kurt, though, is still jealous of the relationship his dad could have with Finn.

At the Cheerios’ pep rally, Mercedes is still in her Cheerios pants, not in a skirt and she starts singing Beautiful from Christina Aguilera. The student body likes it and so does the reporter who is writing the piece on Sue. He thinks that Sue encourages diversity among her cheerleaders. This was not Sue’s intention but she goes with it which means that ‘Cedes doesn’t need to lose weight after all.

April has new plans after Buddy – her affair – died. His wife gave her a load of cash to keep her quiet about the affair and April is heading out to Broadway to try her luck. But before she goes, she has a present for Will: she bought the Auditorium for the Glee club. Sue will not be sabotaging Will on that floor anymore.

Songs: Fire by Will and April, A House is Not a Home by Kurt and Finn, One Less Bell to Answer/A House is Not a Home by Will and April, Beautiful by Mercedes, Home by April

Best Performance: Kurt’s solo (or what should have been his solo, had they not decided that Finn should sing part of it [why, did you do that again, tptb]) is so breathtaking. I may not like the song so much but Kurt is practically confessing his love for Finn in front of the whole Glee club and I cannot fathom how much courage that takes. He sings it with so much feeling, he’s simply amazing.

Brittana-moment for shippers: During same solo, Santana and Brittany are once again holding pinkies and Santana leans on Brit’s shoulder. It is so sweet that they are so into each other – this was when they were not important enough to be love-interest to anyone. I cherish those eps.

Gayest moment of Home: There was a fair amount of interior design vocabulary in this episode, all pronounced knowledgably by Kurt. So gay.

And that’s what you missed…

Sue may be vicious and ridiculous at times but this week, she actually has the best idea EVA! Okay, at first I thought: WTF, but on second thought: Yeah, right! Because: how cool would it have been to hear Madonna over the PA-system all day – how cool would it have been to have a PA-system (German schools don’t usually have that and it just dawned on me that this is a mistake).

So, since Madonna is the power behind Sue’s incredibly successful career she wants to pay homage. And since Shue has no ideas of his own, he jumps onto that bandwagon and has his gleeks sing Madonna, too. The guys are not quite down with that – except for Kurt. They want to sing “a male version of Madonna.” Well, sorry to break it to you, guys, but there simply is no male version of Madonna, Madonna is the male version of Madonna. Also: Shue wants the boys to sing Madonna because he eavesdropped on the girl’s conversation about how they are treated by their respective (in Rachel’s case secret/imaginative) boyfriends – not good. Since he himself is often the worst chauvinist dweep around he needs Madonna to teach the guys how to treat women. It makes sense.

I never realized what the boys did when the girls sang the Express Yourself- number. I mean, that number is all kinds of HOT – but the guys are like whatever… Finn actually looks at the walls… I don’t get it. I mean I get what Murphy (who directed the ep) is trying to show, that the guys don’t care about equality, and that they do not feel misogynistic – but still: hot number… how can you possibly look away from all that HOTNESS?!

Since Sue gave the order to her Cheerios to date younger men,Brittanytells Santana that she should date Finn – and possibly take his virginity. This storyline is weird and wrong and I don’t want to talk about it but it ends with Finnocence losing his v-card but telling Rachel he didn’t.

Emma is a little miffed that Madonna is playing all over school just not in her office. Sue explains that Emma does not deserve the honor of listening to Madonna all day because she does not represent any of the things Madonna stands for: confidence, sex appeal, and the power of forever. So Emma concocts her own plan for self-empowerment: she wants to have sex with Will (how that would be empowering I don’t know, this episode has a frighteningly great amount of nonsense – only the songs are extraordinary).

Oh, and Santana told Finn that Rachel was still dating Jesse and he gets in her grill about it. Not because Jesse is a spy and it would be bad for him to know the New Direction’s set list but because he is jealous that Rachel is not obsessing over him anymore. The ego of that boy…

Kurt and Mercedes are working on a Madonna video with Artie. When they watch Shue making fun of Sue’s hair, they get the idea to reinvent Sue Madonna-style. Though the Vogue-vid is great, Sue figures out (or rather Figgins tells her) that she is already unique and does not need to imitate anyone – not even someone as fab as Madonna.

Like Rachel, Emma decides not to go through with the sex-thing. Both she and Rachel realize that having power also means to have the power to say no, and they exhibit this power.

I cannot say that I am especially happy about the implication that Finn loses his virginity to whoever – let’s face it, Santana is whoever to Finn – while the women want to wait, whether it is for the right person (as in Rachel’s case) or the right moment (as in Emma’s case). Madonna had a big influence during the 80s of how women freed their sexuality and it seems that this episode cages it once again. Not good.

Jesse switches schools and is now the new guy in New Directions. Everybody hates it, not even Rachel seems too happy with it. Especially Kurt and Mercedes are both so over playing second fiddle that they join the Cheerios in order to get the attention they deserve. Will is not happy about it but there’s nothing he can do.

I am not going to comment on the incredibly stupid idea to have the boys sing What it Feels Like For a Girl. This is the first in a long list of songs that are about female empowerment but is being sung by male gleeks and it’s simply not okay.

Artie and Finn apologize to Tina and Rachel respectively. I personally think that Finn should apologize to Santana since she had sex with him. But also because he said that it didn’t mean anything and I think that is rude even if it is the truth.

Then the gleeks sing Like a Prayer which is probably my all time favorite Madonna-song. I am not sure I like this version at all but I do like the outfits (Santana in a red tank, yeah, works for me).

 What I realized: Like a Virgin is the first song of the show where Santana’s voice has any kind of weight and it sounds awesome. I see solos and duets in her future. No, seriously, how could they have had this incredibly talented actress and singer in their midst and not know about it? Also, I think I am obsessed with her (in case you hadn’t noticed).

Songs: Ray of Light by Madonna, Express Yourself by the female gleeks, Borderline/Open Your Heart by Rachel and Finn, Vogue by Sue, Like a Virgin by Rachel, Santana, Emma, Will, Finn and Jesse, 4 Minutes by Kurt and Mercedes, What it Feels Like for a Girl by the male gleeks, Like a Prayer by New Direction

 Best Performance: The outfits, the hairstyle, the dancing, the singing – all right on. Express Yourself is still one of my favorite performances ever on this show. And yes, I always like it when the gleek girls sing together, they are all amazing and it is such a rare occasion when heteronormativity is silenced in the halls of McKinley High and those girls belt out into song together… and let’s face it this ep was supposed to be about female empowerment. And I feel empowered by it.

 Brittana-moment for shippers: There is a moment during that conversation Rachel has with the other girls when Santana’s hand is in Brittany’s lap (no, really). Also, when they leave Santana holds out her pinky to Brittany. And… there is a moment during Express Yourself when Santana looks smoldering at Brit (never mind that their only topic of conversation is once again… boys).

 Gayest moment of The Power of Madonna: what could be more gay than an entire episode about Madonna? Nothing. But finding one moment that transcended it better than any other… oh, yeah, during the 4 Minutes-number, Kurt sashaying down Mercedes’ back and than doing that incredibly gay shake of his upper body. Fab!

 And that’s what you missed…

Valentine’s Day is coming up and the Glee ships are all happy – except for Kurt who is moping because Blaine is still not back at school (rmb when he had that slushi thrown at him by warbler Smythe?). Will wants the Gleeks to sing to their fellow students to raise money for costumes and hairspray but they have had enough of food (and slushis) being thrown at them. Sugar jumps in to donate some serious cash (since her daddy’s rich) and she also has another surprise: she wants to celebrate V-day with the gleeks at Breadstix. Only twosomes are invited, though. This makes for difficulty for both Artie and Rory since they don’t have dates. They are both aiming for Sugar – and I cannot express my surprise that Artie doesn’t simply ask Quinn…

Kurt spilled the beans about Rachel and Fudson’s engagement to Burt and Carole and they, in turn, informed the Berry fathers. Hiram and Leroy seem cool with the idea, or rather excited. But then the whole clan gets together and the parents confront Rachel and Douche with the proposition of them having sex immediately – and I really do not get the reverse psychology of it all. Bottom line: they want Rachel and Fudson to feel what it’s like to be together 24/7 and hope that this will cure them from marriagitis for the next 10 to 15 years. Plan backfires: though the lovebirds fight at first, they look through their parents plan and are even more together than before (storyline sucks – let’s not talk about it no more).

Then there is the God Squad meeting. Sam and Mercedes have finally found a way to have eye sex without anyone saying they are dating. For alibi they have Quinn and Joe (The Glee Project‘s Sam) join them. All I hear is Jesus and my ears awkwardly jam – I am just not religious… “daddy says the bible is a lot of bunkum” – and all that. Joe is all “teenage Jesus” and tells the others of his home schooling and barefoot running and dreadlock naming after books of bible-ing. He is kinda cute but also annoying in his naive, home-schooled way. They agree on doing the singing telegrams that the gleeks turned down. So there’s gonna be singing about Jesus for V-day. Yay! (that was sarcasm!)

Kurt has a secret admirer and he thinks it’s Blaine and although all of his friends tell him that Blaine is not secret, Kurt insists that it’s Blaine. Suffice to say, it’s not!

Cute ensues with Tina and Mike singing L-O-V-E, but it is Brittana who hit the spot. Brittany has made a playlist for Santana with the songs she hears when she is with her or thinking about her… awwww. And then they kiss – only: they don’t. ‘Cause Figgins summons the “teen lesbians” into his office to tell them they are not allowed to kiss on campus any more because there has been complaints… I wonder who in their right mind would not want to see these two kiss – also: who would want to cross Santana? Obviously there is someone very stupid or very fearless running around McKinley. So, it’s either Fudson or Zizes, I guess (I miss Zizes!).

Santana is not happy about the double-standard that allows Finchel to make out and won’t let her and Brit smooch in their own right. And every lesbian is with her – and so am I. You all know that we have to talk about the Brittana-kissing later – a lot… later.

Finchel announces their wedding plans – and nobody is really happy for them. Big surprise! Quinn is all jealous ’cause she wants Rachel for herself, obviously. But there is lack of support from every corner – not what Finchel have hoped for. Tina and Mike promise to be there, though. And then Artie takes the floor, singing to Sugar. She’s smitten but only until Rory does the same and announces that he has to go back to Ireland (which is a lie). Sugar decides that having to go back to Ireland is a worse lot in life than not being able to walk, so she decides to accept Rory as her date for V-day.

The God Squad sings a song to Rachel from Fudson and Quinn is once again out-soloed by the new guy. Her role in this club seems to be to look good – which she does – and court Rachel – which she does…

Because Santana is still pissed she challenges a bible thumper (Joe) to sing a love telegram to her “GIRLFRIEND girlfriend” and Joe seems a little disturbed. The rest of the Goon Squad explain that McKinley High is the gayest place on earth and that he better gets used to it, ’cause the gayest people are their friends and they don’t have time for homophobia – or this is what they should have done. Alas, they let Joe decide if he is okay with Santana and Brittany being the cutest and hottest couple at school (like anybody cares for his opinion…). I don’t get this…

Mercedes told Not-Sam that she kissed Sam and they broke up. But then she turns down Sam because she feels bad about hurting Not-Sam. I have a feeling that this is not final – though I think we have seen the last of Shane. Yeah, well…

Kurt finally meets his secret admirer at Breadstix – before the party – and surprise: it is not Blaine. It is Dave Korofsky. It is sweet that he thinks he loves Kurt. He is lonely and not out yet and Kurt is pretty much the only gay guy his age he knows… but these two are not meant to be. But we already get a foreshadowing what will be in store in Dave’s life soon – because he is seen with Kurt by a school mate. This does not look good… I think someone will be outed and soon (well, actually, I know that he will be and I am already sad about what will happen next to Dave. I like him so much… gosh, this is so unfair!).

So, since Brittana get their blessing from Joe-Jesus who-do-you-think-you-are, the Dog Squad sings to Brittany – with love – from Santana. And they dance, and they sing, and they…. OMG they KISS!!!! YAY!!! And everything is Brittana and nothing hurts!

Oh, and Blaine stops by to look absolutely hot with a patch…

Songs: Chapel of Love by Hiram and Leroy Berry, L-O-V-E by Tina and Mike, Let Me Love You by Artie, Stereo Hearts by the God Squad, Home by Rory, I Will Always Love You by Mercedes, You’re the Top by the Berrys, Cherish/Cherish by the God Squad, Love Shack by the gleeks

Best Performance: This is difficult. I really liked Tina and Mike’s duet. Tna singing has become such an exception from the rule that every time she does, I am just delighted. But… Mercedes killed I Will Always Love You. It was amazing and thus the best performance.

Brittana-moment for shippers: The KISS. Yes, finally. With all the screaming and bitching about this, tptb have concocted something that was teasing with great emotions, then simply adorable, and finally just amazing. It was late but it was also worth the wait. Now, don’t hang them out to dry, folks, give them (and us) more totally gratuitous totally gay make-out sessions.

Gayest moment of Heart: I think it is amazing how much Quinn knows about the bible and being gay. Okay, yeah, THE PATCH was gayer – actually everything about Blaine in this episode was extra special gay. Only, I am rewatching the first season and Quinn certainly has had some lesbian momentum from the start – including her incredibly bad taste in men.

And that’s what you missed…

Sectionals are over and the gleeks optimistically think that their torture is over. Korofsky and gang prove them wrong with a slushi-facial. But though their low status may not have changed, some things have: for one, Sue is back. She blackmailed Figgins into letting her back to coach the Cheerios. How? She staged a compromising scene and photographed it – you really don’t want to know about this. But Sue is back and she is looking for new ways to destroy Glee club (yeah, I know… good old days and all). She needs a new captain and the prospect of leading the Cheerios gives Santana and Brittany a new incentive to ruin Glee club. Sue tells them to destroy Rachel via Finn – namely: seducing Finn (it’s strange to not call him Fudson, y’know) and thus breaking Rachel’s heart (she and Finn are kinda going together) so that she will leave Glee club. And since Glee club cannot survive without Rachel (hello, season 2), it’s a great plan.

Awww, sweet, Brittana are pinky-holding… they flirt with Finn who feels like a new man after a pep-talk from Shue and a solo to boost his ego. And he actually thinks Brittana are interested in him… yeah, right. With all the new prospects – and the fact that he is still hung up on Quinn – Finn decides to ditch Rachel. And she takes it hard, but not hard enough to leave Glee club.

Well, Brittana and Sue are not the only ones plotting against Shuester’s Glee club. Jesse St. James, lead singer of rival Vocal Adrenaline, is suddenly very interested in Rachel. A ploy or real affection? Take a guess, he’s been send by his coach who strangely looks like an older version of Rachel Berry (and is played by Idina Menzel, and I love Idina Menzel). Shelby Cochran has her own agenda though it is unclear of what it really is. Does she want to reconnect with the girl she gave up at birth? Or does she want to manipulate Glee club? Rachel doesn’t much care for anything – she is smitten with Jesse. And when he transfers school for her, she has a new obsession (not surprisingly: he looks better than Finn, he sings better than Finn, and he can move to music).

Brittany and Santana are on a date – I don’t know why they dragged Finn with them. But according to Santana he is just there to pay and watch them make out. I think it’s a fabulous deal but Finn actually wants to participate – he’s pretty greedy. Santana sends him to wait in the car.

Emma and Will have their first date. Awww… this is a time when they were still cute and not neurotically involved in their wedding-preparations. Emma confesses to Will that she is still a virgin and he tries to be cool about it. I think, he is shaken, though.

After the disaster date from hell (for him, not for any other living breathing person) with Brittana, Finn wants Rachel back but she tells him she met someone else. I am so happy for her that this is not a lie – although I wish it was someone other than Jesse. Someone like Quinn or something… just saying. (I hope you like the picture. Strange thing, I had to look for a Finchel-pic online because I only have one in my extensive collection of Glee pics. I found this and it is actually perfect: Finn lookins smug about something, Rachel only having eyes for her man – and the everybody with half a brain looking at Santana in the background. Perfect!)

Finn runs to his bf Will to tell him that Rachel has fallen for the enemy – because he cannot figure out his relationship problems on his own. And although he is right this time, I still think he stinks for doing that. Will runs over to that other school to talk to Shelby and because he is not getting any from Emma he makes out with Shelby… which is rather disturbing if you think about it, considering that she looks like Rachel who is his student. Again, just saying… at least Puck will be honest some day in digging them both…

The core-gleeks (rmb when Glee club only consisted of Artie, Kurt, Mercedes, Rachel and Tina?, yeah, that core) give Rachel heat to break up with Jessie. Turns out, Brittana were behind telling them and Sue plots her next move in inviting Rachel to the “McKinley High Old Maids Club.” For me, personally, any club that has Zizes in it is cool enough to be in, Rachel seems to think differently. And that’s what Sue wanted after all: having Rachel commit treason with Jesse St. James. Ah, her scheming was excellent way back when.

Terri makes a mess of Will and Emma’s second date – without Will even being there – and Emma tells Will pretty much the same thing Shelby has already told him: I see you when you’ve grown up some. Or – as they would put it: Get to know yourself as a single person before you try to get to know anybody new. That’s it, shortest relationship ever – except for Finchel first take, maybe.

And although Rachel tells Finn she has ended it with Jesse – which she hasn’t – she still blows him off. I just wish she didn’t do it because she is still with Jessie but because he’s been an arse and deserves to be treated like it, too.

Songs: Hello, I Love You by Finn, Gives You Hell by Rachel, Hello by Rachel and Jessie, Hello Again (partly by Will), Highway to Hell by Vocal Adrenaline, Hello, Goodbye by New Directions

Best Performance: Difficult. I actually like Finn’s song but he is so annoying to me after having sat through much of season three. I guess, it is Gives You Hell by Rachel, then. But I am really not that fond of any of the songs and the performances lacked some enthusiasm – or maybe it is because it was all about Finchel…

Brittana-moment for shippers: pinky-holding, dating, the prospect of them making out… you won’t get any more this season, y’know.

Gayest moment on Hell-o: Santana and Brittany. No, really. They are actually together and they are hot for each other. Never mind the which-guy-is-hot-talk. They are soooo together!

And that’s what you missed…

One of the reasons why I kept on pushing posting about this ep further and further away is: this episode sucks. No, really, it does. And I think it is rather sad that one of the reasons why it sucks so much is because they tried to give Will Shuester another storyline. There was a time when I actually liked Will. Rmb first season Will with his shiny eyes, trying to better the lives of the gleeks. Yes, he was annoying in many ways but he was also enthusiastic and involved and… well, unhappy in his personal life. And maybe this makes for better storylines. Happy Will makes for a storyline about his insufficient Spanish affluency. As I said: it sucks.

But let’s not get ahead of myself. Let’s first dwell on the incredible sucki-ness of La Cucaracha sung by Will and those hopeful guys from True Directions who think that their teacher knows what he is doing – namely Fudson, Artie and Puck. Urgh… it’s depraved! I’m with Santana (as always). Or maybe I’m with Artie – he looks likes even he cannot believe he is doing this:

Okay, I just spend half an hour looking for pix for the ep but in reality, I am just stalling… this ep is AWEFUL!

The reason they showed us how aweful Will is at teaching Spanish is to tell us that he is really aweful at teaching Spanish and hence he has to go to Spanish night school to make it better. There he meets a real Spanish teacher – David (Ricky Martin). And it looks like Will finally meets a grown man who will be his friend – finally. Then again, we will probably not see David again… am I the only one that wished for Ricky Martin to become not only Spanish but Glee teacher as well after this ep?

Figgins tells Will that there is a tenure free and that Will might get it but he has to become a better Spanish teacher. Sue also wants the tenure, of course, but – as with Will – somebody has been complaining about her teaching style. But this is, of course, another opportunity for Will and Sue to fight over something.

Because David likes to sing Will invites him to Glee club and David shows the kids some DUENDE (not that Santana needed it…). The kids are enthused, to say the least (some of them look downright aroused – right, Kurt?) and the week’s assignment involves lyrics sung in Spanish – yay!

Sue, meanwhile, is looking for a sperm donor – and no, I do not want to talk about it.

Sam and Mercedes are now in pair therapy at Emma’s ’cause they still have feelings for each other though Mercedes is still with this Not-Sam fellow (I kinda know his name is Shane but did they have to give him a name with an S also… it’s confusing… also: Shane? as in Shane McCutcheon? you gotta be kidding me!). Emma is keeping printing shops all over the country busy with her pamphlets (“So you’re a two-timin’ ho,” “So you’re dating a two-timin’ ho”) and she’s pretty proud of them. Will is not, he thinks these pamphlets are just another way for Emma’s OCD to get in the way of his sex life (or something). Anyway, Emma suggests to Samcedes that they not talk to each other for a week… in order to be able to listen to their hearts. I’m not sure if that is cute or corny – maybe it’s both.

Roz Washington is teaching the Cheerios some new dance moves… I don’t know. I like her character – she and Sue have great antagonism – but those moves remind me of a wild horde of hippos in a Disney movie… disturbing.

While watching “Twilight” together – also disturbing – Rachel tells Mercedes and Kurt that Fudson proposed to her – very disturbing. And that she said yes – beyond disturbing. Kurt seems to disagree with me, he thinks it’s a horrible idea.

Since she and Sam are not talking, Mercedes sings a love song for trouty mouth. It’s sweet – especially if you’re watching Brittana. Awwww…

And then the boys are singing while wearing strange boots. And since they are also dancing, they banned Fudson behind the drums (thank you). This Spanish theme is kinda great, I mean, even with some of the more obvious klishees it’s great to see a little of that culture that is so dominant yet often ignored by Hollywood.

I like the scene between Emma and Sue. I know it’s about Will and his good qualities but Jane has such a great chemistry with mostly everybody on the show. And I always liked the scenes where she is painfully honest (when it’s mostly painful to her to be honest). Jane Lynch is amazing – just in case you had forgotten.

Kurt talks to Fudson about his future (college and marriage). The douche is not up to it (it is not time yet that he decides to succumb to the inevitable and just follow Rachel’s dreamscape). The question I am asking myself is: why is he constantly calling Kurt “dude”? It is not only annoying, but never has there been a fairy that was less of a dude than Kurt. And I mean this as a compliment. And why does Kurt say that Douche can “sort of dance”? I think the Glee club is in constant denial about Fudson’s inability to move to music. I mean – just look at this:

Or maybe you shouldn’t. Because it’s painful – besides awkward.

After some more whining from Fudson how his life sucks, and then some meanness by Will because he tries to learn Spanish – too little, too late -, this happens:

Also: Santana blows the annual Glee budget with a laser show. But hotdamn, it was worth it. She and David kill La Isla Bonita. Or in other words: muy caliente! Will is not happy that David participated and let him look bad once again – and with Santana’s help, no less.

Then comes THE MOST EMBARRASSING NUMBER in Will Schuester’s repartoire. And I am still too traumatized to talk about it, so I let Santana find words:

And, of course, the face:

Somehow this recap is turning into The World According to Santana Lopez… well, I don’t hear anybody complain, so…

And she’s giving Will a lecture about Spanish culture and that you have to be passionate about what you do - and Will is obviously not passionate about Spanish. He just needed the money at the time and he has failed to educate himself enough to be a good Spanish teacher. Suffice to say, it was Santana who complained about him. Though Will is not happy about this, he gets her point and helps David get his position as Spanish teacher. And because Emma’s pamphlets are not silly – like Will said – but inspiring, she gets the tenure. YAY!!! (I love how Beiste is so supportive while Will sucks…)

Well, Will appologizes to Emma and all is good again (or something) and Sam and Mercedes still haven’t talked. The End.

Songs: La Cucaracha by Will, Artie, Puck and Finn, Sexy and I Know It by David, Don’t Wanna Lose You by Mercedes, Bamboleo/Hero by male gleeks, La Isla Bonita by Santana and David, A Little Less Conversation by Will

Best Performance: Yeah, well…

Brittana-moment for shippers: When Mercedes sang, you saw them in the background, cozy and cute.

Gayest moment of The Spanish Teacher: Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes watching Twilight. When these three get together “gay” does not seem to cut it. It’s simply fab!

And that’s what you missed…

Okay, first off: sorry to be so late, again. Sorry, to not having been able to recap Yes/No yet. And: glad to be back.

Let’s start with Blaine: the one thing Sebastian was right about is that Blaine really is “sex on a stick.” He starts off the episode with Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ and it’s hot as hell. The gleeks want to do Michael Jackson for regionals and they are all hyped about it. Me, I am more hyped about this:

In Yes/No, Fudson proposed to Rachel because he has nothing else in his life. Rachel is not desperate yet to say yes but it is actually just a matter of time when she sees it the same way he does. I wonder when they will stop and think for a minute that desperation and fear of the the future are probably not the best foundation for a marriage.

As some of the gleeks gather at their favorite coffee spot (and Sebastian’s home), Rachel admits that she doesn’t get Michael Jackson. The other’s are stumped but she is still enthusiastic about doing Michael at Regionals when Sebastian joins the group and tells them that the Warblers are doing Michael at Regionals. Obviously Blaine has told him over their breakfast conversation on the phone that New Directions are planning to do Michael – bad decision. Sebastian is now the big honcho at his glee club and he’s already stealing idea from unsuspecting and too trusting friends. Sebastian and the gleeks get into a verbal scramble and Santana threatens to cut off his Warblers as souvenir – but Sebastian’s dad unfortunately is the State Attorney and he’s obviously eager to have her visit with some family members in jail – so no souvenirs.

Shue gives the gleeks their week’s assignment: WWMJD (What would Michael Jackson do?). And they decide to fight the Warblers street level. In a reminiscence of Bad they meet with the Warblers in an abandoned parking house. They are being Bad against each other but then Sebastian throws a pimped Slushee at Blaine (his aim at Kurt was way off) and the man goes down with a yell of pain. Next thing we know he is in the hospital with an eye patch and has to undergo surgery. The gleeks are pissed, big time but unless they can prove that Sebastian spiked the Slushee they are out of luck to file a complain at Dalton against Sebastian.

Artie flips. He doesn’t want to be everybody’s punching ball anymore. And I am right there with him. He has a point – although it is a little disconcerting to see him get up next… it’s like his dream sequence. But his number with Mike (although I am not that much of a fan of the song, I always loved the vid of Michael and Janet) is AWESOME.

Because Rachel feels that after the whole dilemma with Quinn and her mom and Puck, she and Quinn are friends now (and probably because she has a total crush on Quinn and likes to spent time with her in the girl’s room with all those mirrors…), she asks her about advice about Finn’s marriage proposal. Quinn tells her to not marry Fudson (that’s why I like Quinn so much: we see the world in a similar way… okay, maybe not when it comes to babies and diaper-changing, and men…). She also tells Rachel that she got into Yale (it’s weird when they first talked about it, I thought Quinn said Yell and assumed it was an artistic school just as NYADA… but hell, that’s why Quinn is the cleverest girl around. Boolah, boolah, girl!). Rachel is miffed because Nyada hasn’t written yet and she seems to come to the conclusion that marrying Fudson may be her only choice.

And because tptb seem to remember that Quinn is not only smart but also has a lovely voice (and looks sexy in long flowing evening attire), she gets a solo! Yes, I said it. A solo. I had to look this up because I wondered why the song Never Can Say Goodbye was included in a Jackson tribute: the Jackson 5 first recorded this song as a single in 1971. There you go, now you know something that you didn’t know before.

And because they hate what Sebastian did to Blaine, the gays Kurt and Santana are planning bayback for the big cheese Warbler. Although I am with Santana on the binding and gagging and tattooing, I see Kurt’s point. They are going to take the high road and I am also with Santana dressing up for this opportunity and singing Sebastian into oblivion – ’cause hell, her rendition of Smooth Criminal beats the crap out of his. But if you cannot win with talent you have to throw another Slushee – luckily for Santana it is not a spiked one this time. But she gets S’basti to admit that he put rock salt into the one he threw at Kurt (not Blaine, he was just in the way) and Santana recorded it (I love how she repeats that she taped the recorder to her underboob… actually I love when she says boob… I love her…).

Sam and Mercedes also have a moment when they sing together in the auditorium and kiss. Mercedes feels bad because she is still with football dude known as Not-Sam. I like that they gave Sam an actual character/story-line combo this year. And yeah, I know I complained about him having no game but he showed a lot of improvement this year. So, yeah, him and Mercedes, I ship that.

Kurt gets his Nyada letter – he’s a finalist. Rachel doesn’t get hers (that day) - and she’s so down tells Fudson she’s gonna marry him. Still, they swing by at Blaine’s to serenade him with Kurt (which proves my point that lately they just put in scenes for Fudson whether he has a storyline in the ep or no… I am irritated by this).

Santana tells the gleeks that she has Sebastian admitting to her that he put rock salt into the slushee that injured Blaine on tape. But Kurt doesn’t want to use it against Sebastian, he thinks these methods underneath them… I am really questioning Kurt’s sanity just here: dude, your boyfriend was rockslusheed by an ass that has formerly tried to seduce said boyfriend away from you. Also, he is potentially dangerous in his arrogance. I say, throw him to the wolves – and if not the wolves: to his State Attorney dad! But in the spirit of Michael, Kurt tells the gleeks that they have to beat the Warbler at Regionals not over some slushee-throwing. Michael would fight his critics, and all haters on stage and that’s what the gleeks are doing: they show the Warblers that they are the better – and more righteous – show choir by singing Black or White to them. And his fellow-Warblers are deserting their head honcho Sebastian because they get Michael, and Sebastian just doesn’t. They join the gleeks.

And just because life wouldn’t be so much less fun without miracles and too-late-surprises, Rachel gets her Nyada letter that tells her she is a finalist also. Too bad that she has already told Fudson she was gonna marry him…

Songs: Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ by Blaine, Bad by New Directions and the Warblers, Scream by Artie and Mike, Never Can Say Goodbye by Quinn, Human Nature by Mercedes and Sam, Ben by Rachel, Kurt and Finn, Smooth Criminal by Santana and Sebastian, I Just Can’t Stop Loving You by Rachel and Finn, Black and White by New Directions and the Warblers

Best Performance: This ep has a lot of great performances (although the story isn’t always, especially when it comes to the wedding drama of Finchel)… actually except for when Finn sang, these were some of the best performances this season. But it is Smooth Criminal that was THE most amazing – the cutting, the set-up, the cellists, and Santana! Holy hell, can that woman sing! The performance of Naya Rivera in this ep was outstanding, give that woman an award already… an Emmy or a Globe, I don’t care which. She deserves them both!

Brittana-moment for shippers: Not that kind of episode, sorry. This time of year, we are happy to have Brittany talk – and she actually does. Surprise… though not the best one-liner she ever had, either.

Gayest moment of Michael: This was a pretty heavy gay-ep without it actually being gay. Most of the story lines circled around the homosexual characters of the show yet it was not about their homosexuality at all – is that a jab at Michael Jackson? I don’t know but as for gay gay, I have to go with Kurt’s outfit in the opening scene. Wow!

Define – Rachel’s girl’s room lesbianism: I said sometime before that there is a female equivalent to “locker room gayety” and it’s “Rachel’s girl’s room lesbianism”. This is certainly not the first ep that has it (think “Audition” with Sunshine, y’all!) but Rachel always seems to have her most private and intimate moments with other girls (especially Quinn Fabray) in the girl’s room. Although, Rachel might not be the most important part of this moniker (sometimes it even happens without Rachel) but the girl’s room seems to inherently possess the magical powers to make everyone incessantly gay.

And that’s what you missed…

One of the search engine terms I found in my stats today (that was January 20th) was: “matt hodgson angry lesbos.” I wonder what “angry lesbos” means, though. I mean, I know that Lesbos is a greek island, but how it can be angry, I don’t know. My point is: when using a derogatory term one might want to know how to spell it since I am pretty sure, what you meant was “lesboes.” Next time, just to make sure, use “lezzies” or “dykes.”

I am probably the only one thinking it is ridiculous to revisit Samcedes summer-fling after what feels a year away but then I am also a sucker for Grease and that rendition of Summer Nights - dayam!

And yes, that is Helen Mirren doing the voice over for Becky Jackson. And yes, that is totally AWESOME. How much do we love Helen Mirren – so much. So, Becky’s got the blues ’cause she’s hot but seems to be the only one who knows it. She has an eye on Artie and asks him out. He doesn’t seem to take this too serious though he has a good time with her at Breadstix.

Beiste tells Emma and Sue that she’s got married to Cooter over Christmas. Emma is happy for Sharon but she’s got the blues of her own because she thinks that Will will not marry her. Sue tells her to ask him - ’cause it’s 2012 and nothing says feminism more than asking a dude to marry you (or something). She does then takes it back and he seems to get a clue from that. But he wants his proposal to be perfect and asks 18-year-old high school students for help. And boy, are they ever a great help. 

For some inexplicable reason, Sam thinks he’s only getting Mercedes back if he’s back in his letterman (is that how it is spelled) jacket, so he joins the synchronized swimming team. Yeah, I know. This ep is all sorts of ridiculous and I am loving it, actually. And hell, I think I’m in love with that synchonized swimming team coach, Roz Washington - she’s fabulous…

And we have our first slushee of the season. I think I am going to sit down and cry now. Yes, I am this happy! Also: Sam so deserved this – I mean synchronized swimming… gosh, the guy is so adorable in his yes-I-still-have-my-Star-Wars-bed-sheets-from-when-I-was-seven-and-am-still-using-them kinda dorkiness.

Artie’s idea for Will’s proposal is doing the sexy. He thinks Will just has to swing those hips and she will be smitten into a yes. Well, I go with that wedding dress seller from Gray Matters: sexy just doesn’t do when it comes to wedding and all that. The number is awesome, though, and I so would have liked to see Kevin dance it…

Why does Finn’s story line always involve the greatest amount of wrong? And I am not talking about the man himself this time – but him being best man to his high school teacher… Shue, I am saying this because I genuinely like you, you need friends your own age – maybe even male friends your own age. It doesn’t do to be friends with every female guest star that comes to McKinley (and consequently make out with them). You need a bromance – with someone other than the guys you teach. But Finn joining the army sounds good. I am all for it!

Well, Will doesn’t seem to think so, so he tells Burt and Carol and they are having an intervention during which Carol tells them all that Finn’s father was not a war hero – he was a loser just like hiss on. And Finn is devastated – so devastated that he asks Rachel to marry him. He says it’s because she is the only good thing in his life, I think it’s because he doesn’t want to be loser alone and has to drag his girlfriend down with him.

Artie was right in his notion that the girls come up with a sentimental ballad. But this number is awesome as the girls (Rachel, Tina, Santana and Mercedes) recall when they first met their significant others. Only, Mercedes doesn’t think of Not-Sam, she thinks of Sam. That’s kinda hard to swallow for `Cedes but Rachel tells her to take it slow and see where this goes. Maybe she and Sam are meant to be.

Will asks Emma’s parents for their blessing for the upcoming marriage and they say no. They are more concerned about him, though, because she has OCD and they are sure she could never handle being married and having kids and everything. And they freak Will out in the process. But, of course, he loves her and he thinks he can help her with her freaky-deaky-ness. And he finally proposes.

Artie is kinda in a mess because he likes Becky but is not into her and he asks Coach Sylvester for advice and she tells him that he has to end it like he would with any other girl. Because that’s what Becky wants most out of life: to be treated just like any other person. And that’s what he does. She’s upset but, of course, gets over him. After all, he’s not the only synchronized swimmer in the pool – or however that saying goes.

Well, ep ends before Rachel can tell Finn to go to hell with his engagement ring and all – so we have to wait till next week.

And what’s up with this – and does Kurt know?

Songs: Summer Nights by Mercedes and Sam, Wedding Bell Blues by Emma, Moves Like Jagger/Jumping Jack Flash by Artie, The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face by Rachel, Tina, Santana and Mercedes, Without You by Rachel, We Found Love by Rachel and Santana

Best Performance: Although it’s probably predictable and sappy – We Found Love. Not because oft he heteronormative plot of marriage and marriage proposal (though Emma is soooo cute, who wouldn’t wanna marry her?) but because Rachel and Santana’s voices sound awesome together. In all, I think they got four duets together this season (and so far) and, though I think, So Emotional ist he best by far, this is a second. And it’s a good song, right?

Brittana-moment for shippers: That moment when they first laid eyes on each other, first shy smiles, a recognition, hearts go thumping. Awwwww….

Gayest moment of Yes/No: Sam the Sealion… yes, there is something incredibly gay about Sam’s idea to join the synchonized swimming team and it makes me very proud of this boy’s character development.

And that’s what you missed…

With all the talk on whether Rachel should marry Finn (no, she should not) and something that looks suspiciously like a bromance between Sam and Puck (or maybe it is really between Mark and Chord), I was thinking about different shipping options for the show.

Well, Kevin McHale and I already agree on Quartie – Quinn and Artie. I think the glimpses we got of them glimpsing at each other are pretty obvious by now. On the other hand, my site stats of each day tell me that people dig “Quinn and Santana.” I get more Quintana search engine searches than I get Brittana searches – serious, no shit.

I must say, though, these days I like the chemistry between Quinn and Tina a lot. Maybe it is just the I-kissed-a-girl-number but I do get a vibe there. Not that I think Quintina is going to happen but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to see it.

And what about Sam? Is he back on the rooster, permanently that is? If so, forget him and Mercedes. I don’t know if the tptb notices but I think they may have created another male gay character. At least, I see the potential in Sam. Strangely enough, I think he and Blaine would just look awesome together. Not that I want to break up Klaine, I mean who would, but just the visual of those two guys – I feel the whole gay world swoon already.

Since nobody wants Rachel to marry Finn, she needs someone else – and I am still not over how well Rachel and Santana’s voices work together. Yes, I dig Rantana (and no, I will never call them Pezberry). And let’s face it, being the daughter of gay dads, Rachel is pretty much predestined to experiment at some point. Why not have that over with before college? It needn’t be a relationship (I mean, if they would end up in a relationship one of them is also sure to end up dead at some point and I don’t think it will be Santana) – I would even go for drunk-hot-tub-experimentation… yeah, I know but just for the sake of it.

I also totally saw Emma and Beiste or Emma and Sue happening last episode. Then again, looking at this picture we might get another inappropriate student-teacher relationship:

Inappropriate, indeed. But it was probably just a fun moment between Lea and Jayma.

Finn? Well, I could answer that question but that would involve Rory Flanagan and a plane back to Ireland – to please me. So, for the sakes of Finn Hudson fans – and I know they exist – he should probably stay alone. (Now that I mention Finnison – I actually get “Finn off of Glee” searches on my blog – well, sad to say but that is not going to happen anytimes soon. Believe me, nobody wishes it more than me and with the “Michael”-tribute coming up and dancing being involved in that…).

That was what I had on my mind these days. Do you agree, disagree? Write me a quick notes in the comments, I will appreciate it and might even answer.

The night before I watched this ep, I had a dream in which I punched most of the Glee-kids in the face. I don’t know why, it had something to do with a formula that they had stolen from me and I had to get back and memorize… it was a dream, and it still sounds as ridiculous as an idea for an actual episode – awesome. I also punched Brittany and Santana, for which I am apologizing now (I also got to hug Santana… she thought I was Brittany at the time, so it made perfect sense). But, of course, I punched Finn (and my x-mas wish for this year is that Ryan Murphy will change his name permanently into Douchbag) a lot, and really hard. And that made my… night. I am telling you this to tell you that I actually have Glee-anxiety these days on whether it is going to be a good episode – and I guess seeing someone punch Finn in the face would improve every episode. Enough intro, let’s get on with the – X-mas – show:

And we start with something as wonderful as Mercedes channeling Mariah Carey. And all the gleeks are dancing around, presents are getting thrown through the air. Everybody loves xmas, right? Right!

And may I say that my man Blaine is wearing the gayest suit I’ve ever seen. It is so wonderful that his clothes are getting gayer with every episode – and make no mistake this is the gayest episode since the beginning of glee-time.

Dufus Hudson doesn’t know what to get Rachel for xmas so she gives him a list with rather expensive little things that she wants. She has her eyes on a pair of diamond studs for her ears but that’s not really something Finnius can afford so he gets her a pig that is going to be eaten – or something. Lame storyline but since Finn has to have one every episode lately we have to deal with lame, I guess. Not that anything Finnson does is ever not lame…

Enough of Fudson, though, let’s see what the other gleeks are up to. Sue is recruiting the gleeks (man, I almost wrote “the gays,” but, I guess, that just reflects on how gay this ep is, have I mentioned it’s really gay?! Okay, I am stopping now…) for her pet project of this xmas: the Lima homeless shelter needs volunteers and Sue volunteered the gleeks to entertain the homeless. Of course, they are all for it. Merry xmas, homeless people.

Rory sings us a depressing song of how much he misses his mom on xmas. And Sam is volunteering to provide some help on getting American xmas-spirit because Irish people don’t know anything about spirit, or something. I am not really paying attention because I am watching these two interact and think: boah, they would make a cute couple (it could just be that the episode is not as gay as I am making it but… yes, it is really gay when they are talking about how hard it is, and that Rory never imagined it to be so hard and Sam agrees that he knows the feeling… what are they talking about?!). So, Sam invites Rory to spent the holidays with him and his family.

Will has his two minutes of air time telling the kids in superfastforward speech and with as many xmas-puns as the writers could come up with that they were booked for a xmas special by the local television station and that he and the manager of said station have decided on Artie as director. This brings on an artistic crises for the man in the wheelchair since he never wanted to do tv – he feels like selling out. But he becomes quite good at it when he considers making this xmas show a mash-up of the two best xmas specials that ever were: Star Wars and Judy Garland. And for once, I agree with him. Best xmas specials ever…

Artie is in high spirits and wants his xmas special to be cheerful and gay, so he makes Klaine the hosts of a xmas party. Everybody is invited – if they are cheerful, that is. Sam doesn’t buy into it, though, he thinks that sadness is part of xmas, too. Rory bails on him, he wants to be part of Artie’s xmas, not stand in the cold and collect money for the salvation army.

Since the homeless thing and the xmas special recording is the same night, the gleeks cancel their gig at the homeless shelter. That is, Artie cancels and the gleeks go along with it. All but Sam and Quinn (Sam because he’s become a do-gooder and Quinn so that she doesn’t have to sing – or is not allowed to sing, the saga of Quinn without a solo continues), they serve food at the shelter the night of the special while everybody else stars in the special.

And this is truly special… I have no words. Thank you, makers of Glee. It’s actually to wonderful for words, you have to watch it if you haven’t already. I mean, it combines some of the things I love most. Black and white, a classic Bing Crosby xmas song sung by a gay couple, The Sound of Music, Star Wars, Cheerleaders, and recorded laughing. It’s show-y, it’s gay, it’s amazing. I love it!

And I have to say, I am so glad that they put Puck into Han Solo’s outfit and dress Douche in Leia’s gay brother’s pajamas. Made my xmas, that one.

And because the special ended early and Rory taught the gleeks a little about the xmas spirit, they gather at the homeless shelter together with turkey and fillings to help and sing some more. Merry xmas.

And because Rachel only got a pig for xmas his boyfriend has a finntastic idea: he gives her a star for xmas – named after himself. That’s right, that romantic dude names a star after himself and gives it to his girlfriends, since she already is a star, blah blah… And once again I am thankful that tptb don’t let us forget who the real star of this show is: Finn Hudson’s enormous ego… thank you. I was getting too cozy anyways.

And because this ep hasn’t been gay enough, Rory asks Sam to be his Valentine. At least, that’s what the subtext says, never mind that he uses the words “Valentine’s day sponsor.” We all know what this is about, right? Right!

What I realized… that I like xmas so much better when I can channel it through one of my favorite shows. Everybody seems so happy (okay, you have to watch Brit and Quinn during that last song, I think they were the exceptions – what was up with that?).

Songs: All I Want for Christmas is You by Mercedes, Blue Christmas by Rory, River by Rachel, Extraordinary Merry Christmas by Rachel and Blaine, Let it Snow by Kurt and Blaine, My Favorite Things by Mercedes, Rachel, Kurt and Blaine, Santa Clause is Coming to Town by Finn and Puck, Christmas Wrapping by Brittany, Do they Know it’s Christmas? by the gleeks

Best Performance: Was probably cut from the ep – Santana singing Santa Baby… I don’t even know about the performance but the song is great. As a whole, well, I have always loved Let it Snow and Kurt and Blaine did a great job at it. Although, I like last year’s It’s Cold Outside a little bit better.

Brittana-moment for shippers: There were a couple of really sweet precious moments, without words (’cause these days it seems that Brit is not allowed to speak anymore – put Brit and Quinn together and you have a complete cast member), just the two hugging, dancing, holding hands. They’s cute.

Gayest moment of Extraordinary Merry Christmas: The whole episode was so completely gay that one cannot chose a single moment. It would discriminate all the other perfectly gay moments of the ep.

And that’s what you missed…

 

This is not an episode – but it gave me quite an episode when I heard Santana say it. I have already written about the fact that I think the Glee writers don’t take Santana’s lesbianism as seriously as, say, Kurt’s homosexuality. But after Hold on to Sixteen, I feel I need to dwell on this a little more. And I didn’t want to put this into the recap, ’cause then I would have just ranted.

You probably all heard about the Did-they-or-didn’t-they-debate that was going on between some (lesbian) Glee-fans and Glee writers Matthew Hodgson, Michael Hitchcock, and Ali Adler. Brittana fans know they have never kissed but these writers differed in opinion, it was a blood bath. And in my opinion not really that important, except for the fact that I see it as problematic that these writers don’t know something that essential about one of the more prominent and certainly well-loved couples on the show.

And this brings me back to how serious the lesbian storyline on the whole is taken by the people who write, produce, and create Glee. In the episode that featured Santana’s coming out, there have already been enough “hints” (they were not hints, they were neon-signs pointing at this problem) that lesbianism is not taken seriously at all. Puck dishing out the “it’s a phase”-bullshit, Finn including the word “choice” into one of his (condescending) speeches, the very song that gave the episode it’s name… girls try things out, girl-on-girl is more to entertain boys, lesbianism is not a real thing, more of a thing that happens and should happen but not too often, and certainly not in exclusion of (pardon my French) dick.

Yes, this is the message that I read. And it continued this week with Santana saying: “No, it was that damn Trouty Mouth. Even I felt a little something in my lady loins when he did that magic sex dance.” For once, that dance was actually rather inappropriate for a school competition plus totally embarrassing for all parties involved. Also: no, Santana did not feel anything in her lady loins because she is a lesbian.

Let that sink in for a moment and then we can talk about it.

I thought about writing it, I thought about it for a little while. But I had to. I am not at all comfortable with labelling people that way, I am well aware of sexual fluity and am all for it, I hate that I have to make this point in order to make my point. But please remember that I did not label Santana a lesbian, the Glee writers did. I work with what they have given me and what they give me every week is something that makes me mad. A lesbian that is not a lesbian because she says things like that. I know that the creators of Glee are in kind of a bad situation here: they made Santana “the lesbian,” but she is also one of the hottest women to work on this show (if not THE hottest). Telling the audience (whatever small part of that audience is male and straight) that she is exclusively into girls would put a damper into their pants that could entice them to not tune in anymore. I get that.

And then there are the know-it-all lesbians who demand a lesbian storyline, a lesbian kiss, and possibly that Brittany gave up her sexual fluidity on the way. And it is all just too much… is it really? You did the same for the gays, remember? Kurt would never make a comment like Santana about ‘Cedes’ sexy moves. Why? Because he is gay. You labeled him gay. Why make Santana say something like it when you already labeled her lesbian? As I said, I am all for ambiguity, I myself sometimes think guys are sexy (I mean, I have a total boy crush on Blaine, I would totally dig him if I was a guy). But there is something I would never feel, or if I felt it I would refrain from even admitting it to myself and so far it has never happened: I would not feel anything when some dude pushed his groins into my face (and that was what this dance was about).

I know that it is hard to comprehend (for men) but there is actually a part of the population that is not interested in the ever-powerful, ever-present, ever-dominant phallus. Lesbians simply don’t care. Having Santana make that comment you took away some of her credibility, a lot of her credibility. Not so that we will say: she is not a real lesbian. But so that you can say: she is not a real lesbian (because lesbianism doesn’t really exist). Again, that’s the message I read into it.

But let’s not dwell on the message, let’s go to people we should be concerned about because they are the ones receiving it. These are not the millions of guys who watch Glee for the pleasure of peeking a look at the Cheerios` underwear. These are not those demanding lesbians who want a kiss, and a real lesbian couple and all at once. This is not me who is maddened by it. The people we should be concerned about are those this show is aimed at: high school kids. Not all of them, just those who happen to be girls and who might struggle with their sexuality. Girls whom you tell that being a lesbian does not mean anything, it is a phase, it is not really, and if it happens a guy should be present – because that’s who you should be doing it for, anyways.